THIRD WORLD PET

(music: Peter Robinson)

Oh we spent tons of retirement funds

On life saving surgery

So our crippled mutt can drag his old butt

Around for eternity

We walk him every day in the neighbourhood

And carry all his excrement

In see-thru bags past the kids in rags

We don’t give them a cent

We’d care about them a whole lot more

If they walked and they begged on all fours

And lived each day for the toss of a ball –  a ball, a ball, a ball

But they walk around on two just like everybody do

And so naturally, we feel nothing at all – at all, at all, at all

My buddy Sam’s been to foreign lands

With people hungry and cranky

They live in huts with their empty ole guts

They got no cable tv

We’d welcome any way to help but we can’t

Forgive any third world debt

But maybe in time after plenty of wine

We’ll send food to their pets

Walking is sweet on Toronto streets

Rovers and Fidos on leashes

But late last night, oh what a sight

Houses burning up in the beaches!

A three alarm fire, nine people expired

A cable tv news event!

If they’d had a pup, it would have woken them up

Oh that’s just common sense!

We’d care about them a whole lot more

If they walked and they begged on all fours

And lived each day for the toss of a ball –  a ball, a ball, a ball

But they walk around on two just like everybody do

And so naturally, we feel nothing at all – at all, at all, at all